dirty, hungry, greedy, and careless,
turning smart men into cowards,
turning brave women into thieves,
leaving children to fight an unknown darkness.
Power, in society today, seems like a dirty word. A power trip makes you think of some evil genius, or idiot, with too much money destroying the goodness around him. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me there wasn’t a time when you didn’t feel the same. I’ll wait.
I’m right there with you. The idea of being in control, being my own boss, was instilled in me from a very early age. But, do you remember all the cartoons where the villain seemed to always have the money and an ego the size of North America?
I always found myself feeling sorry for the villain. I’m not saying they didn’t deserve what came to them. You cannot try to hurt people or steal and not get a nice slap of karma right in the face of your pride. No, I’m saying they had all this power, all this money, and they could never seem to figure out what to do with it. They could never find the good in being powerful. The inherent beauty of being wealthy in knowledge, money, and opportunity.
As a little girl I decided I would never be power hungry. I would never be the villain. I would never sabotage the goodness around me. Somewhere along the lines I also decided I didn’t want to be rich because I was scared I’d be careless, full of pride, and maniacal.
I find myself years later wishing that little girl understood how gifted she was. Hoping that she would see that while she wasn’t a villainous, power hungry maniac, she was still sabotaging and destroying the goodness of one very important person. Herself.
I know, I know. It’s cheesy. It’s self care book meets things that make most of the youth of today want to gag. However, have you ever stopped to think that we’re the villians in our own stories?
Out of sheer fear we let people walk over us, we turn down opportunities, and we self sabotage constantly. We hide ourselves from the outside world fearing we will get battered or bruised by slurs, doubts, and naysayers. Why are we so afraid to be powerful?
This is the conversation I find myself having with the one above, myself, the universe, and power. I find myself trying to mend the relationship I so quickly wrote off because I assumed power would betray me. I find myself making peace with money. Manifesting very big, bold, brave opportunities for myself and those around me. I see that there is power in being unapologetically me, you being you, and the world embracing us.
I now realize that there are two sides to every single coin, story, and word. But, where do you stand?
giving way for power in money,
stringing prayers of milk and honey,
for the power trip,
in the power hungry,
is more than lashes of tongues,
and goodness running.
~ Cydney Irby