Everyone, at some point in time, has missed someone or something. It could be a friend, family member, pet, etc… Also, it could be a feeling or moment in their life that is hard to get back. No matter who or what it is that may have been lost, we all have different ways of handling it.
The thing that I have missed the most is the person I used to be before I lost several important things (and people) at once and things in my life really started to change. From the time I was in my junior year of college to now, a lot has happened in my life. I was dealing with toxic friendships and relationships, trying to figure out who didn’t need to be in my life at the time. I was struggling with my major and what I wanted to do with my life after college; along with trying to find work that let me manage school, and paying rent and bills for the first time. I also had to deal with the loss of my mother.
When all of that happened, I felt like I had lost a large part of who I was and had become since kind of getting out on my own. I felt lost, insecure, and no longer sure of myself. Losing my biggest fan and supporter (my mom) hit me harder than anything else. I had felt (and sometimes still feel) like she was the only one who truly believed in me and knew what I was capable of. It felt like no one, friends or family, understood me.
It was somewhat possible for me to return to that confident and independent young woman that I was becoming but something was holding me back. I soon realized that the only thing holding me back was ME and that the fears that I had. I was scared of failing and not being good enough. Focusing on what everyone thought instead of what I knew to be true crushed my spirit more than anything.
That was a very rough time for me but having a chance to sit and look back on it all, I am honestly very grateful for it. It really made me stop and re-evaluate everything in my life. I decided that I needed to stop living for everyone else and start living for me. Finding my true purpose and maybe even finding a way to turn it into a career was my main goal.
I guess you can say that one of the first decisions I made on that new journey I was embarking on was when, on a whim, I decided to apply for a local radio station street team. That decision ended up changing a lot for me. After getting the job and making a name for myself around there, I ended up meeting 3 of my current best friends. We all have so much in common and have formed a special bond that I’ve never really had with anyone else.
Working for a radio station of course has its perks but I am more thankful for the things I’ve been able to learn and the people I’ve been able to meet and network with. Of course you still have the usual workplace drama but, for the most part, it’s been worth it. Being there and one of my co-workers gave me that final push I needed to start my blog. My blog has definitely brightened up a lot of things in my life and I cannot wait to see where it’ll take me. And right now, at this point in time, I can finally say that I feel like I’m getting back to my old self.
Watch out world! 🙂